Roua

Roua with potimarrons from the garden.

I still can’t believe she’s real; nor can I believe that 2 months ago today we raced to the clinic and barely made it as I squeezed my legs together in the front seat of the car, whispering to my baby, “just wait a little longer please,”...she was so ready to come into this world but patiently waited and 10 minutes later I got to meet the most beautiful face I had ever seen. That’s the short version of our birth story. The longer and more detailed version to come, as believe it or not, I still feel like even 2 months later, I am still processing the whole thing. 

I’ve heard the days are long but the years go by fast. For us, the days go by so fast! So, if that saying is true, I must truly embrace every moment before the years pass by in a blink of an eye. Roua changes by the day. Never knew I could be capable of feeling such immense gratitude. We are so lucky. 

Everyday is so different and the same at the same time. I’m in awe of Roua. I’m in awe of what my body is capable of, creating a human, producing milk which nurtures her while still nurturing me in all the ways she does. The transformation is magnificent, more than magical, to watch and feel unfold. I am so honored to be granted this experience of Motherhood. 

Roua and the giant butternut from the garden, both nearly 4kg (8 pounds)! 

I have to admit it’s not always easy and not every moment do I feel so positive. In fact, I feel fatigued and frustrated some days, but those emotions are part of it all too. My life has completely changed, yet many things still remain the same, like baking sourdough bread (two baking as I write this!), or my yoga and meditation practice. They just look different. I thought I needed yoga and meditation most during pregnancy, but actually now I need it more than ever before. I’ve never felt so needed and important. Caring for a baby requires so much energy, both physically and emotionally. I never knew the reciprocal power and influence I could share with a being! I need my whole best self to do the job, and a bit of yoga and meditation during the day when I can or at night when she sleeps makes all the difference in the world. Taking care of me, my mind and body, is a priority because I need to be well to care for Roua. Experiencing the power of my body through all its changes and breastfeeding has been such a wondrous process! 

Having a baby makes life more complicated but really, it also makes life so simple. All I have to do is be my best self and love this sweet little human. I am learning to just take the day with each moment as it comes, without attachment to what the day should look like or what needs to be done. I make a list and do my best. With Roua, I am learning to truly let go and just live. 

When I look down at her big eyes and cute little nose, sometimes I can't believe that those parts of her were formed inside of me from two cells that joined, and that I carried her for 9 months. It blows my mind. Thank you to Uncle Kevin for the 2-month birthday outfit which came in the mail just in time!

Things I want to Remember about my baby Roua at 2 months:

1. Her cute little croissant-shaped hands. 

2. The way she stares at me so lovingly, at times pensively with those big eyes! 

3. Her sweet smiles, especially in the morning when she first wakes up and sees me. 

4. The o-shape she makes with her mouth sometimes. 

5. The way she arches her head all the way back just to see me as she lays in her 2^nd crib in the living room. 

6. The way she savours slowly waking up with a nice long stretch. 

7. The sounds she makes after yawning and coughing that remind me of her Great Grandpa Ma. 

8. Her long fine hair, the first thing which I heard the midwives exclaiming about as her head was crowning! 

9. Her loud farts and burbs and poops, so satisfying... :) 

10. Her sweet innocent smell and soft skin...

11. The way she shakes her head before taking a big mouthful of breast!

12. All her many snoring sounds.

I’ll stop there for now since I can go on and on...but these are the main ones. Cheers to you Roua! Happy 2 month birthday honey. Mama loves you so much! Looking forward to celebrating with chocolate banana creme pie Tata Gaëlle will make tonight!!!

*Photos by ma belle-mère et moi.