Happy 32 & Thanksgiving

Hiking with my baby girl. 

Today is my birthday. I'm 32. It's a special birthday because it also falls on Thanksgiving; and this Thanksgiving I have something extraordinarily wonderful in my life to be thankful for that I never had all the 31 Thanksgivings before today, my daughter, Roua. 

I am writing from bed since Jorris just brought me breakfast in bed. Sweet pears from our neighbor's tree, yogurt, a slice of my sourdough bread with a slather of peanut butter, topped with sliced bananas, and to finish, drizzled with our fall mountain honey and a pinch of black sesame seeds. I sip coffee, real coffee, with a bit of cream. Roua is with Papa and I hear them talking in the living room. My heart smiles. 

My loves.

It's an odd feeling. I have to admit. I don't have that jubilant, Christmas is here feeling in my belly. I don't have the urge to spring out of bed and announce to the world "It's my birthday!". I have so much to be thankful for, grateful for in my life, though I feel a little blue. Perhaps it's because I miss my family back in the states so much and nostalgically think of how we would celebrate today together with turkey and stuffing, pumpkin pie, the works. How I yearn for the mingling of those old big family gatherings I now realize I always took for granted. How I wish for just one of those gatherings. What I would give for a room bustling with laughter and joy, stories told over humble and delicious plates of food, tables and tables spread with carpets of gorgeous food. Of course, we are not alone. The current state of the world stage with the corona virus casts a dark shadow, for everyone, and I send light and love to all those families affected. 

Thanksgiving isn't celebrated here in France, though I usually make a Thanksgiving dinner with our friends. This year though, I am feeling a bit tired and the thought of hosting just did not feel appealing nor relaxing. I want Roua to experience Thanksgiving, but at the cost of her mama feeling stressed and not fun to be around, I decided to follow my heart and not host a dinner. My friends were more than understanding. This will be the first Thanksgiving in my life without a dinner or traditions, except Jorris sweetly insists on making a pumpkin pie from one of our own garden pumpkins, which he is waiting for me to make with him after I post this! Perhaps, even without all the usual traditional Thanksgiving fixings, this could still be a meaningful one. 

This moment is all I need. 

It's just a different way of celebrating. And different can be just as beautiful, if not more. I intend to spend my day being present with my family and thinking of all the wonderful people in my life and all the life experiences that I am thankful for, knowing that I will get to see my loved ones one day soon enough. I intend on taking the day real slow, going on a hike with my husband and baby girl along the river, discovering somewhere new, maybe have a picnic? The sun is shining outside, what more could I wish for. Shouldn't we be thankful everyday?

Happy Thanksgiving to you wherever you are today and cheers to however you are celebrating this day of thanks. 

*photos by me.