Août

Yoga in the woods. My favorite stream. 

These last few months have been wonderful and hard and wonderful and have flown by. Overall, I am so proud of myself and how I have adapted to this landscape, this life, this culture. I really feel that I have grown into a better person.

Since being here, I have further cultivated the meditation skills which I began back in San Francisco while visiting my brother Kevin. His partner Steven introduced the “Headspace” app to me and it’s been life changing. It’s been a really useful tool and the Headspace app has really helped guide me through the process. Meditation is really grounding and I find it keeps me calm throughout the day. I am still working on being consistent with it, but I already feel the shift in my thinking. I notice my “mind” more so to speak and I am less judgmental about my thoughts. No more “should be” anythings...I just am and things just are. 

I have strengthened my body, my mind, my garden, my creation skills and quite importantly, my voice. I truly have been the speaker, the protector, the champion for myself, making no excuses going after what I want and need, not living for others but for myself and what I need to be a whole person so that I may have good energy to share. I’ve drawn boundaries, learned to say no, safeguarding my heart, taking responsibility for my circumstances and actions, realizing that I can only do so much and a lot at the same time. 

Of course next to yoga and meditation, gardening is my rock here. This season I have to admit I haven't been as on top of everything as I usually like to be, and there are the weeds which keep coming back and which I haven't made time to pull yet, and then the cucumbers have developed this white mold, but then we have enjoyed some fresh cukes and loads of tomatoes, courgette, aubergine, so I can't complain. My short trips away from the farm this summer have made it more difficult to be on top of watering and the dryness in general this season, well, c'est la vie. However, I will say that I have learned to be more present in the garden with my new meditation skills. Watering and weeding for example have become even more therapeutic and relaxing to me. I found myself in moments really just enjoying the garden for itself, not just because we eat healthy food we grow, not because it's just so satisfying to grow your own food, but just because it feels so good to be in it!

Le jardin, mon amour. 

Les tomates délicieuses. 

Une petite courgette qui pousse. 

J'adore les fleurs des cilantro. 

I’ve picked up a good rhythm here, finding a balance between work and play, making time for yoga, hiking, swimming in Nice and having lunches with friends. I’ve learned to be fully myself wherever I am and not edit anything; that has been so liberating. Because really, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter where you are, you are already there, your mind is always with you, your heart always with you, your joys and pains and confusions, so learning to live with these all together, slowly piecing things and drafting and redrafting, taking action be it however so small or large, that is what makes the difference, that is life.

Villefranche, my new favorite spot of the Mediterranean. 

Daniel, my wonderful neighbor and friend in Villefranche.

I’ve spent good quality time with my neighbor and friend Daniel. He is so kind. Such a man of heart and genuine spirit. He has a light spirit, curious and fun, like a child. I love that about him. He is very wise, and I can tell he knows himself well and does things that are comfortable for him. He and Sylvaine really know how to enjoy life. They take time to have dinner together al fresco and take time to go swimming in the river with friends like us. Daniel drove our wwoofers and I to Nice on a Wednesday a few weeks ago so I could look for earrings for my cousin's wedding in Montpellier and we all went swimming and had an amazing lunch and there was street music, a soproano sax player...it was so lovely, rosé, fried sea bass, I was in heaven. I really felt genuinely happy just being in the moment floating in the Mediterranean Sea with my friends, such a wonderful life I am so lucky to live and experience. 

Ma belle cousine Linh. Auôt 12, 2017. Photo: Nguyen Van Tri

Linh&Stephane <333, Montpellier

It was so fantastic to be a part of Linh's wedding. She's a distant cousin whom I never knew I had until this past April when Mom, Kev and I met her mom Di Phung who is my mom's cousin. Di Phung explained that she has a daughter in France and when I connected with her a few months ago, she invited me to her wedding! And, Di Phung and I got to meet again. It was lovely. 

My artisanal, cold-process, organic soaps at the market in Guillaumes. 

My Wild Carrot Hydrating Face Creams make their debut!

I am so in love w/ wild carrots...wild carrot flower water and essential oil.

I am also happy with all of the cosmetics I have experimented with too. I've created a Wild Carrot Hydrating Face Cream and a variety of soaps: coffee, sheep milk, calendula. I am pleased that I have sold some at markets and on my etsy page. I mostly love that people appreciate my work and product. Even if I don't sell a lot or this won't continue, I am so grateful for all the knowledge that I have collected and all he wonderful things I have created, all on my own. Not only is it fun and challenging, but I have learned how to harness the healing powers of nature in a respectful and sustainable way to keep myself, my friends, my family, the world, healthy and wildly beautiful. That is powerful and liberating, not to be tired to the commercialism that is so saturated in the cosmetics industry. If I need makeup remover for example, I won't buy the chemical stuff from Lancôme for $30, I'll use coconut oil or sweet almond oil. Pure and real, affordable. 

This Summer has been brimming with dinner parties, date nights, tea parties, a trip to Tortona, Italy to pick up some bee hives...busy, but all in a wonderful way. 

Buckfast bees in Tortona, Italy. 

Buckfast Queen! These bees are less aggressive than black bees. 

Jorris in his element. Tortona, Italy

When in Italy <333 Parmigiano Reggiano

I have cultivated a better sense of independence here, taking the car when I need it and being more firm and demanding about what I need. I feel a new spark in me, and it’s really nice. This Summer, I find myself not as homesick, which is also nice. Nothing to prove to anyone, no real need to be back in CA. I know it’s a choice and not a need. I have the power to choose where I make my life. 

Dolce far niente. Piedmont, Italia Photo: Jorris

Of course, sometimes I get these waves of wanting to go back to CA, to what is familiar there. Like the other night, I really missed my Grandma Ma for some reason and just wanted to be home with her. When I struggle or feel sad here, I think of being there. You always miss the ones you love. 

Dancing amongst the glasses at Linh's wedding. Photo: Nguyen Van Tri

There are so many things I love about living in France, in Europe. It’s beginning to feel more like home. Jorris is beginning to feel more like home too.

*Photos by Tiffanie Ma, unless noted.