Saturday, November 21, 2020

Happy 8th Year Anniversary

It's a chilly Saturday morning here in St. Leger. Roua is nudging me to wake, her little fingers pulling at my hair. I turn towards her, still half asleep. She's been patient and waiting, nuzzled beside me under the down blanket. I peel my still-sleepy eyes open to see her sweet face. "Good Morning baby," I whisper. She smiles big. "Mama is still sleepy," I say, closing my eyes. She graciously gives me another minute before clawing at my face and squirming around in her sleep sac. "EEEEE!" she declares, tensing her body. This translates to: Ok, time to get up Mom! So I spring up like a Dandelion in March. I take a moment to orient myself to a new day, the sun shines brightly through our bedroom window. Roua is excited to get up. I pick her up and we make our way to the living room. 

It's toasty and inviting. Papa has started the wood fire, as he normally does for us. "Bonjour mon amour," I greet Jorris, who's by the fire, with a kiss. I put Roua down to play in her playpen and make my usual chicory with cream. Today is a special day and even through all the busy chaos of life and my mom-brain short-term memory, I remember it's the 8th year anniversary of this blog, my first baby, Garden Gallivanter. In fact, I've been anticipating this day the whole week. What will I write? Will I have a chance to write? I worry for a minute. 

But then, I turn on my computer and out of curiosity look at what I wrote this day last year. Sipping my chicory, I look back on my trip to San Remo, Italy where I took a solo trip to write and rest, last Fall. Roua starts getting fussy, so I carry her and we both read together. The end of that post reads: 

I feel like this new independence, self-knowing, prepares me for something great to come. The relationship we have with ourselves might be the most important before any other relationship in our lives. This year I've learned to nurture and listen to my inner-self, to speak up for my soul.

Little did I know that that great something would be my daughter Roua. One month after that trip, I found out I was pregnant, and so, those two lines appearing on that pregnancy test marked the beginning of my greatest adventure into Motherhood, into Womanhood. 


Roua at 4.5 months old. 


Roua's new trick is the "ugly face".


I smile in excitement, inspired by something I can now write about to commemorate this day. Now, for the photos. I spontaneously look around at what we have that I can use as props and take Roua into the bedroom for her 4-month homemade photoshoot. It's a nice ritual I am enjoying, these monthly photoshoots, a nice little creative challenge. I quickly toss some apples we bought yesterday at the bio store into a hand basket and with Roua in the other arm, we go into the bed room. She seems to enjoy these photoshoots as she is always smiling. I make a number 4 with the apples and have just enough apples that it looks like a decent 4! Yesterday, I had wondered why Jorris bought so many apples, we never eat so many so quickly, and now I know why. 

The apples are just one event affirming my strong belief that everything happens for a reason. We were meant to get that many apples for the photoshoot today. I was meant to go to Digne for my réeducation du périnée (perineum reeducation) with my sage femme (midwife). And because we have been going to Digne for my bi-weekly appointments, we get to see my friend Hilary who had her baby 3 days before Roua. In fact, we have the same midwife. And because I get to see my friend Hilary and go on our little walks, yesterday with hot chocolate in our hands, and our babes with their papas ahead of us, I feel so re-energized and happy. we started this book club, exchanging books, very casual but so wonderful. Yesterday she wanted to lend me a book which I had thought to lend her! How our minds are on the same wave length. But this is all to say that if it hadn't been for that big boulder to fall during the major storm last month that destroyed part of the road to Nice, I might not have had the opportunity to consider going back to Dinge for my appointments. Since I had given birth in Nice, I was planning to go back to do a postpartum follow-up with my doctor, as instructed, who would prescribe me réeducation du périnée sessions. It would also be convenient to practice driving around Nice (for my French driving license exam), perhaps even making honey deliveries, if needed, but then we changed plans because of the boulder and all for the better (although many thoughts go out to those lives who were lost and affected by the storm negatively).

Blessings in disguises are real. I am so happy to be back with my sage femme Hélène. I am learning so much from her to reeducate my perineum muscles and have been really enjoying discovering those muscles and that part of my body that I never engaged in so mindfully before. With her finger inside me she instructs in French, "now, imagine a lotus flower closing in the evening, imagine that same motion as your vagina and those muscles around it closing in and lifting up a little". I close my eyes, take a deep breath and on my exhale, visualize my lotus flower closing. "That's exactly it! I could feel that suction motion with my finger," Hélène says, exuberated.  She has given me many exercises with metaphors like this one to work with, along with showing me visual illustrations of muscle anatomy. As someone who is fascinated by mind and body connections, I am intrigued to learn more. Her office also has a wonderful ambiance, which Roua seems to enjoy. Jorris kindly accompanies me too. 


My puppy and I in the garden.


Our Winter Window Garden


Roua meets Romaine.


France is an amazing country in so many ways, one of which being its universal healthcare system. One of the pilars of France's political and societal foundation is égalité, equality. France believes that all of her people should have medical care, no matter one's job or social status. Everyone deserves to be well and healthy. It is a human right. So my health insurance pays for these réeducation du périnée sessions with my midwife, which are standard for all women postpartum. We have therapy and training/exercises to strengthen and heal other parts of our body, why not down there? Nothing like this exists back in the States, not at a national standard level, at least not based on my knowledge.  I appreciate this so much because it shows a respect for the health and well-being of the Mother as well (there are many services for babies too which I'll get into in another post). Quality of life. There is such a value here for quality of life.

                     
Roua is remarkably calm at the moment, sitting in my lap as I type. Her temperament is usually calm, but she is being extra calm, très sage, the expression we say for a baby or child behaving well. I put on some music; she likes music. This morning we went out to check on our winter window garden. The Romaine lettuce and kale are growing so beautifully! I let Roua feel the texture of salad and kale. It has been our ritual to check on our winter garden and water when necessary. Jorris turns the manure which we get from the neighbors goats and sheep. He found the window panes from the junk yard and built the garden. We got the idea from our friends Marie et Samuel. They have amazing aromatics growing in their winter window garden. They are shepherds and so put their manure around the window box to keep it warm since the manure is warm. We do the same and it works so well. I love learning from friends willing to teach and share. It's a nice feeling. 


Our Winter Window Garden


Papa turns the compost pile. 

It's been a beautiful Saturday; the sun is shining. Life is good. It's a beautiful day to celebrate another year of blogging. If you had asked me this day last year where I imagined I would be on the same day next year, I would never have imagined this day as it has turned out to be: waking up on a chilly morning to the beautiful face of my daughter, taking photos of her, strolling in our garden with her, her sitting in my lap as I write. My puppy. She's very much like puppy these days, playful, curious, wants to put everything in her mouth. I take her on walks. She has a playpen. She even learned this new trick. She makes an "ugly face" as we translate from Vietnamese. She scrunches up her nose like a bunny, and it's the cutest thing. My Mom tells me I did the same thing! I actually remember this from a home video of me as a baby. We video chat nearly ever day, so my Mom sees Roua make the face and we all have a laugh, including Roua. She even showed her new "trick" to Hélène and Hilary and Franck yesterday. We all had a laugh. I'll end it here for now. Cheers to 8 years and more laughs ahead. And to fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans for the first time today!!! Thank you for being here and sharing in the magic with me. As always, the honor is mine. 




*photos by me. 




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