9 Months In & 9 Months Out

 

Roua is 9 months old

Easter is tomorrow and yesterday we celebrated Roua's 9 month birthday, neuf moisiversaire we say in French. We took a drive to the city in my little saxo that could and went to a beautiful children's book store, full of gorgeous books and toys. It was very classic and old-worldy, with only the best illustrated books and toys, hand-selected for sure. To me it was like an art museum. Roua enjoyed gazing around at all the pretty colors and pictures as I carried her in the baby carrier. Of course, Oma spoiled Roua and her friends. I think Oma might have had more fun than any of us. It was endearing to see her excitement at all the books and toys. The parking was tough, but we managed to squeeze onto the end of the street just before the crosswalk. It was so worth it. Despite being in yet another covid lockdown here in France, we are managing to find ways to enjoy life, no restaurants but why not bookstores. 

After that it was a stop at Satoriz, our organic local food store, where we loaded up on bulk foods which we had been running low on. It felt good to replenish our food pantry. As head chef of the household, I always feel I can cook at my best with a full pantry. Roua swooned everyone in the store of course, and delighted in playing with the carrot tops protruding out of the basket cart. So many people asked questions about her and everyone who saw her smiled. She beamed back, as usual. And I beamed from a far, as she was with her Oma. I'm really the lucky one here, though. 

June 24th, 2020

April 3rd, 2021

I can hardly believe it's been 9 months since I was pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. Looking back on this picture last year which was taken 8 days before Roua was born and the photo we took today, I am filled with sheer awe at the miraculous and magical changes of life force which governs us all. 9 months ago I was reborn as well, into the role of Mother, a role which has been the most enriching and profound gift of my whole life. 

If life is a movie, which in my mind it is, this would be the best role to play of my entire career. What a beautifully, wild adventure it has been to learn how to be a Mother and to learn about my daughter, to watch her change by the day, and for us to learn to be a family. Some days I just want to press the pause button and hold her close, smell her soft semi-curly hair and just watch her sleep, cradled in my arms. Other days, I just want to sleep in myself and she waits patiently in between us, nudging us to wake. 

I am so proud of Roua already: her fierce and determined will-power (diaper changes are always a challenge), how her 4 teeth have popped through and barely any whining, how she is almost walking, not afraid to experiment, and how she crawls so quickly towards me with that sweet smile which melts my heart every morning, how gentle she is to other babies and how she plays with other kids with non-attachment and only her pure presence. I love how she makes raspy, gollum voice sounds, sometimes saying "mum mum" and they way she loves to eat my sourdough bread and just food in general. I love how she has to touch and explore everything, breaking it a part to understand and discover it. Her curiosity and fearlessness for the world empowers me and inspires me everyday. Roua, thank you for choosing me to be your Mama baby, I love to more than I'll ever be able to show you. Happy 9 month Birthday, my love!!